Sunday, 3 July 2016

Eerie Complacency

By: Team PenTastic
Written by: Shimona Elora

In those sleepless nights, when the mind wanders into the depths of the deepest thoughts, I lay fully awake on my bed with a sense of qualm. A sense of doubt, fear – of the known and unknown. For me known was the fact that I loved my mother, with the unknown being a question so mortifying – What will I do without her ?

Every once in a while, there comes a time where we take awfully less notice of our parents. We get so wrapped up in our own lives, that their's seem to be so insignificant that their potential problems just become another mere source of their cribbing. "Cribbing" - literally, all their problems have reduced to just that one word. As of my mother, she has this particular problem these days. She keeps on repeating the things she says. It is quite annoying sometimes, it really is for us, the fast moving generation. But that one day, while I lay on my bed, it struck me hard, like a fast moving bus. With the time that I was growing, with every second that passed, she was growing too. Yes, growing old - seems like a nightmare, doesn't it?

It was so hard now, not to notice those all so relevant reasons that led to the conclusion of the same. My mind started constantly playing those facts, as if from a well formed, organized motion movie – that had this rising plot, that would end up on a very sad note. Those days when she would complain of those joint aches, soon made me realize that they weren't a part of "cribbing" after all. Her shrivelling body seemed more prominent now – screaming in muted tones, of her increasing age. All the care, all the love came rushing back to me, making my eyes well up with tears. Her figure now resembled more of my grandmother, her behaviour was sometimes calmer than the weather before a storm, and sometimes so frivolous and changing just as if of a small kid, with every changing desires.

Nothing could really lessen my fears. It was as if she was a ticking clock, nearing her end. And the thought that I will be there to see it horrified me the most. All those days when I came rushing to her, when I needed arms to embrace me while I cried; all those times when she understood me and loved me no matter what; all those times when she cared for me more than she cared for herself; all those times, yes, all those times will be what I would have left of her. Time and age wait for none, and so shall they never make an exception for me, or for you, or for her. And on that note, I closed my eyes with an eerie complacency of the unknown – If not now, if not in this life, I will meet her again in the next.

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