Saturday, 13 September 2014

Article : The Initiation

By: Team PenTastic
[ Sent by "Mr.Sleeping Beauty" ]

Now Mr.Sleeping beauty is a student of C.E.T., presently in his 2nd year. He is a guy. He himself is unsure as to why he chooses a name so feminine to represent him. When we ask him about his name and other details, he says he's nervous to let the world that whose mind it is, they are peeping into through his writing. He's afraid to let everyone know who he is, but he still wants to write. So, after a lot of debate, we let him. 

In his article "The Initiation", Mr.Sleeping Beauty writes about a lot of things; his thoughts; his dilemma, his fear, his doubts and expectations. We hope the readers will have a good read, just like we did. And with time, we hope, Mr.Sleeping Beauty lets us know who he is. As he writes to us, "May be one day I'll come out. One day".


       The Initiation 

In two weeks, our college will have a fresh batch of students and I’ll officially be a senior. Senior. Even thinking that word aloud makes me feel weird. Like an alien thought that didn’t belong there. I’m half inclined to let out a ‘Ha!’ but that will disrupt my roommate’s dance moves. Yes he dances even when I’m in the room. And no, I don’t feel awkward at all. It’s rather heartening that he feel’s comfortable enough to practice his moves in front of me. Anyway, back to the topic!

We all have a different way of looking at college. Some view it as place to get some real education for a change. Some see it as a four year preparation for a job and for some, it’s a place where there are no parents to stop you from doing whatever it is you wanted to do but couldn’t. Whatever the reasons, college changes us in ways we didn’t anticipate. I like to think college helps you figure out what you really want in life. For me, it hasn’t quite happened yet. But I have my fingers crossed all the same.

I have always had this critical way of seeing this whole engineering deal where the parents pimp us out to life and it’s brutal truths. Before this, under the shelter of my parents wisdom, making decisions was a lot easier. Sometimes they made them for me. But now, it’s all so different. I am expected to make huge decisions that will decide the future course of my life. I am expected to be an adult about it. “Be a man” as Clint Eastwood would say. Except I don’t know how. I am still the clueless guy in fifth grade who gets tongue tied every time he sees a girl. Childish, insecure, self conscious. I like to pretend I’m all over that. That I am well adjusted, have a clear aim and know how to talk to girls. But that’s all it is. Pretend. I’m hoping by the time I graduate, I have half an idea who I want to be.

Take for now, I started writing this with a clear topic in mind but now halfway down, I have no idea what I wanted to write about. These are bits and pieces swirling in my mind as I plough through the day hoping to get somewhere.

Being a child was so much easier and way more fun. If I was given one wish right this instant, it would be for time travel. So that I can go back in time and tell that kid not to worry about a single thing. He’ll have plenty of time later on. If I could do that, I would have had far more fond memories of my childhood than I do now. I think I spend it hastily on things that didn’t have any real value. I could argue that I was just a child and what was a child to know. But I would be lying. I always knew what I wanted. I just couldn’t convince myself that it was the right thing. I figured I would have plenty of time later on. But now, in a sea of assignments, lab records and CGPA scores, time is like quick sand. Slipping away into oblivion.

[ Keep writing, Mr.Sleeping Beauty ! And we also invite articles, poems, write-ups about your college or yourself, from all the CETians. We'd be glad to publish your work. Till then, keep reading ! ]

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